In late September and
early October of 2018, the U.S. was captivated and divided by Christine Blasey
Ford’s allegation that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh had attempted to
sexually assault her decades ago, in the 1980s, when they were both in high
school.
Politically-focused national
news organizations and podcasts were consumed by the story, and covered little
else during that time.
I followed the story, but
once I had learned of the day’s developments, I didn’t need to hear them over
and over again. And there was only so much of that depressing story I could
take.
Because the
politically-focused websites and podcasts I frequented had little else to
offer, I decided to look for something else to occupy my time.
That was how I discovered,
“Hello from the Magic Tavern,” an improv comedy podcast based in a fantasy
world similar to those found in “Lord of the Rings” or “The Chronicles of
Narnia.”
During my time at home
during the Coronavirus pandemic, I have decided to revisit some of my favorite
episodes of “Hello from the Magic Tavern,” which recently celebrated its fifth
anniversary.
“Hello from the Magic
Tavern” can be hit-or-miss in terms of its comedy. But its best episodes are
amazing, and definitely worth your time if you have a similar sense of humor.
I wouldn’t classify the
podcast as family friendly. Teenagers and adults will likely appreciate its
Sophomoric and sometimes immature jokes.
I wouldn’t recommend
listening to it with young children, unless you want to answer questions about potentially
uncomfortable topics like bestiality.
There are also times where
the podcast deals insensitively with difficult topics, but I don’t think that
should deter potential listeners.
If you, like me, are tired
of the constant depressing news about the COVID-19 pandemic, as news
organizations are covering virtually nothing else, I would recommend giving
“Hello from the Magic Tavern” a try.
Many of my favorite
episodes are from the early days of the podcast. The more recent episodes are
enjoyable, but if a new listener wants to give the series a chance, I would
recommend listing to these gems first.
Here are my five favorite
episodes of “Hello from the Magic Tavern” in the order in which they were
released on iTunes.
Season 1, Episode 1
Hello from the Magic Tavern
In the first
episode of “Hello from the Magic Tavern,” listeners are introduced to Arnie
Niekamp, who fell through a magical portal behind a Burger King in Chicago and
was transported into the magical and fantastical land of Foon.
The episode introduces
Usidore, a wizard with many names who is on a quest to defeat the Dark Lord.
But the episode’s central
focus is on a shape shifter named Chunt who transforms into the form of
whatever animal he has sex with.
“Chunt: Basically,
whatever creature I sleep with, I then become in a fortnight.
Arnie: When you say sleep with…
Chunt: Sex.
Arnie: I’ve got a lot of questions.”
Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore
are the cohosts of a large majority of the podcast’s episodes.
Season 1, Episode 4
The FML
In episode
four, Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore interview Larry Birdman, who oversees a
popular sports league in Foon.
Birdman is the
commissioner of the Foon Mittens League, which is abbreviated FML.
Despite the wide
viewership of Mittens, Larry Birdman hopes to change some of the rules which he
believes are breaking the game.
“Larry Birdman: If
the Baskin takes a potted flower across 2,000 yards and gets it to the other
end, that is one point.
Now my principal problem
with the game is if a bird comes near the field and you catch it, that’s 700
points.”
Season 1, Episode 32
Offices and Bosses
In the world of Foon, some
people play a game similar to Dungeons and Dragons, except they pretend to work
office jobs on Earth.
In episode
32, the crew interviews Metamore, who discusses a fantasy role-playing game
he regularly plays called, “Offices and Bosses.”
“Metamore: The idea
is that everyone takes on a role in this fantasy world where you work in an
office and try to avoid the evil boss. There are flying machines, magical
gizmos, cities of millions of people, and buildings that are ten, twenty, or a
hundred stories tall!”
The cohosts then begin a
game of Offices and Bosses, with Metamore organizing the game as their “Office
Manager.”
I love the concept of
actors playing fantasy creatures who are themselves playing a role-playing game
imagining they are working mundane office jobs.
Season 1, Episode 41
Skeleton
In episode
41, the cohosts interview Clax the skeleton, a low-level beginning enemy,
similar to those found in many video games, who guards a dungeon that contains
a powerful sword.
“Clax: You know the
dungeons, the main dungeons. I’m basically the first level of token defense if
you decide to delve in.”
The episode goes into
great detail about Clax’s daily life, his backstory, and prominently features
his happy-go-lucky attitude toward the afterlife. The jokes about the life of a
skeleton, from Clax and others, are top notch.
“Usidore: I find
that our elderly population often take jobs as greeters at the front. It’s a
very common thing that happens to you later in your life… or later, after your
life.”
Offices and Bosses
Season 1, Episode 4
Caball’on from I.Tree
The actors behind “Hello
from the Magic Tavern” created “Offices and Bosses” as a spin-off podcast for
listeners who paid for Stitcher Premium. Eventually, some of those episodes
were released in the podcast feed for “Hello from the Magic Tavern,” which is
available for free.
Caball’on, a loveably
clueless tree, plays Gail Davidson-Durst, an IT professional, during a game of Offices and Bosses with
Metamore, Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore.
The episode
is full of amazing jokes, including when Gail reveals to the organizer of a
corporate ownership retreat, played by Metamore, that she is his ex-wife, even
though the organizer doesn’t remember having been married to her.
Hilarity ensues early in
the episode when several characters attempt to explain automobiles to
Caball’on.
“Usidore: It’s an
auto-mobile.
Caball’on: Oh, no!
Usidore: Yes. It’s a great metal monstrosity, with wheels on
the bottom that carries you around, as if a carriage that had no horse.
Caball’on: Oh, did the horse get lost?
Usidore, befuddled, asking
Arnie: Did the horse get lost?
Arnie: Yeah, horses kind of got lost a long time ago on my
world.
Metamore: And they actually moved… under the hood.
Chunt: Oh, their power still remains?
Metamore: Their power remains. It could be 50, 75, 100 horses.
Chunt: Tiny horses, I love tiny horses.
Usidore: Yes, so do I.
Metamore: A hundred tiny horses running on a treadmill.”
The episode features an
advertisement from a board game store in Foon, which includes references to
popular games from Earth.
“Slobe Dobeman: Greetings!
Tis I, Slobe Dobeman, inviting, woah nay, insisting, that you come frequent
Slobe’s Emporium of Games!
Why buy your games from
Mr. Bart’s Fun Cart, when we’ve got a much wider selection at Slobe’s Emporium
of Games?
We’ve got every game under
the sun, and even some from under those weird moonless nights.
Starting up a game of
Offices and Bosses, but don’t have a briefing case to hold your documents?
We’ve got you covered!
Need the official rules of
Boulder, Parchment, Broadsword? We’d be idiots not to have that in stock.
Then you’ve better believe
we’re having a post Chris Must sale on new games, such as Gathering the
Gathering, the card game where everyone comes together purely for the sake of
assembly.
Or Significant Pursuit.
Don’t shrug off these questions, for the stakes are too high!
Other new arrives include
Frontgammon, Sweets Realm, Reckon Whom?, Chutes and Bladders, Large Expensive
Book Z, Apologies, Receipt to Travel, Coranists of Tancat, and Alternating
Black and Red Squares - The Game!
Hurry on down while
supplies last. We are located in the stone well, behind the baby graveyard.
Just lower the bucket and
yell your request, and we’ll bring you back up savings! And water. If you want
water, we’ve got water as well. It is a well.
That’s Slobe’s Emporium of
Games!”
My friends and I have been
able to decipher many, but not all, of the references from the ad.
Offices and Bosses – Dungeons and Dragons
Boulder, Parchment,
Broadsword — Rock, Paper, Scissors
Gathering the Gathering
— Magic the Gathering
Significant Pursuit — Trivial Pursuit
Frontgammon — Backgammon
Sweets Realm — Candy Land
Reckon Whom? — Guess Who?
Chutes and Bladders — Chutes and Ladders
Large Expensive Book Z — No idea
Apologies — Sorry!
Receipt to Travel — Ticket to Ride
Coranists of Tancat — Settlers of Catan
Alternating Black and
Red Squares, The Game — A checkerboard
In ranked order, my favorite
episodes of “Hello from the Magic Tavern” are as follows.
1.
Caball’on from I.Tree
2.
Skeleton
3.
Offices and Bosses
4.
The FML
5.
Hello from the Magic Tavern (Episode 1)
The following actors play
key roles in those episodes.
Arnie Niekamp plays a
fictional version of himself
Chunt — Adal Rifai
Usidore — Matt Young
Larry Birdman — Rush
Howell
Metamore — Bill Arnett
Clax — TJ Jagodowski
Caball’on — John Sabine
Slobe Dobeman — Liam O'Brien
Slobe Dobeman — Liam O'Brien
Soon after I began
listening to the podcast, I remember hearing Usidore say the Dark Lord vowed to
build a wall to keep out the forest, before expressing his confusion towards
the Dark Lord’s promise that the forest would pay for the wall.
This was obviously a reference
to Donald Trump’s campaign promise to build a border wall with Mexico and that
Mexico would pay for it.
Once I heard the joke
about the wall, I knew I would like this podcast.
Congratulations to the
cast and crew of “Hello from the Magic Tavern” for five years of quality improv
comedy from Foon.
I hope the show will be
successful for many years to come.
